Thursday 27 December 2012

...!!!!!!!


I wait for you in the running wind
Moving clouds and the calling oceans
Sensual swaying of the morning mist
Sounds of music in virtual vibrations----By Virji

Inspired--
I wait for you ... 
also with the evening hues...
the rustling leaves, 
the tiny crickets and the fire files,
with every passing chirm...
as the night falls, 
deepening the sweet salt smell of the sea, 
the passion of her waves...
their rhythmic meetings on the shore,..
with my drooping eyes i search in her...
the meaning of my longing...
the echoes of my erratic moods...
the ineffables of love

Quiet

I stay quiet before the screams of mundane logic
the corroding sheets of cognizance underneath me,
too lazy to beat the slumber.

I am no clean.
   a thief
   a liar
   a conspirator
I wander..ragged of peace
envying the simplicity of goodness.

I wish I could float..
and then glide..
and then just disappear.
Into the all knowing cloudless night sky
which now basks in the afterglow of my sound sleep.

Monday 17 December 2012

Someday

Simple relations are good sometimes..many times ! Some buffer to the inevitable fuck i guess. I always tend to fall for the complicated ones though. It has served me good , fair even, but tires me these days. I wonder how would it be with a stable life. A fixed thing to look forward to while going back home. Some order in life. Falling a little off this randomness of everyday. But then, the moment I see some routine into things, I have seen myself running away from things . Probably I am commitment phobic ! Its not the mundane revival of things that comes with it that scares me, perhaps its the sincerity. The sweetness which goes into being perfectly happy with that routine and the utter innocence of revolving your world around that it. 

I feel trapped with relationships, my system starts seeing it as a challenge to the protection i get in my own shell. Probably, its the failure which scares me. Both, of letting yourself fall for somebody and gathering yourself up again over the failure.And maybe stupidity mocks at my face at times. But somehow, I feel safe here. Alone at times. Lonely .But safe. Because this way, I don't belong to anybody. Maybe the complexities I put into my relationships make me feel protected .

Ironically, I wait for love to happen. It should happen someday. Not with a bang ,I will run back into my hollow at that very instance. Perhaps it will happen with hushed words , during the quiet hours of dawn, or the empty weekends or maybe in the winter of  December or with the subtle warmth of early March.

Or while the evening hues spread themselves over me , on someday , of some month , of some year...

Tuesday 4 December 2012

Skies


These blue skies are biased to me now...
for I have recited to them ,
my poetries,
my endless agonies,
my desolate times,
His memories...
they pour when i cry,
they listen to my subdued silences...
and they have written my memoirs,
while I have kissed  the whistle of lonely winds..
while I have made love with the midnight waves..
while I have slept off at the bay
and dreamt buried in the white sands,
dreams of a thousands constellations growing in my womb...

I have been a partner in ballet to the love's parody...
I have despised it ,
vandalized it..
and then mourned over for a zillion times...
For love's symphony is soothing only when heard
alas ! its wild when sung...

The ineffables of an unleashed soul are risky to case..
They are best left alone,
to themselves,
to the skies

Friday 30 November 2012

Bombay Bombay !!

                Its been a while that I have been living here now. And I promise I have never seen a city so electric. Everybody is a star here and yea everybody has an urge to be successful !! Yesterday I met a man , he sold us two packets of lays and charged extra rs 10 just because we bought it at marine drive, on asking he says ,
                "Toh kya hua saab, aap toh paisa kamate ho na itna, mereko bhi aamir banneka hai. "
It doesn't surprise me though because Bombay does gives you wings, Wings to fly to the gateway of dreams & the vigor to chase them.
               Everyday I see the city reborn for a several times, as the day seeps into the beautiful Arabian sea.
''Arabian sea '' I somehow find the name magical.Like I could find a hidden treasure or mermaids or pearls on its shore... I find her occupied in the mornings, busy in the afternoons, a mixture of cheer and tire in the evenings and sexy at nights.
               When it comes to liking a place , I like to call people 'the sea people' and the 'mountain people' because it always ultimately comes down to which place do u want to go back to when you think of home.
For me it has always been the sea. I like the sand slipping underneath the feet when you stand at the shore,the salty smell, the damp air, the sunsets and sunrises, the conspiring sky and water at the horizon and Oh My! My! the sound of the waves at the shore..
               Bombay is beautiful(i somehow like the name bombay, more than mumbai) ! I would even call her extravagant ! Her art deco buildings , the wide streets , the trees which do not seem sparse before the hoard of vechicles, the sea link and the feeling you get when you get your head out of the car's window to see the suspended strings falling behind..the sky scrapers , and the markets !
              These days I see myself falling for her..hopelessly, madly !! I stay here or otherwise, she would always be the first city I fell in love with. She gives me a high keeps me soaring ..At times, even makes me feel beautiful ,stylish...  

Friday 28 September 2012

thoughts

"  Sometimes you don't want to be anywhere near tangible,but disappear. And appear at a completely unknown ,unseen platform.At thoughtlessness. And you get there and you realize you still cannot sleep.Maybe the pang of not knowing what you feel is way too much to be able to sleep. 

Thoughts follow the code of book. Code of perfectly straight pages of a virgin book. The way they become crooked around the corners with the passing time and you simply find them too stubborn , to give in to your frustration, of not able to bend them right! 


They, the thoughts are stubborn. Unyielding . Perspective less. Nasty. Good. Bad. Tender. Harsh. Gentle.



  • They do everything but heed you! "

Thursday 27 September 2012

lets meet someday

Maybe we should meet someday,
we wouldn't talk about what happened,
who went wrong,
who forgave , who held on..
I think taking a walk would be a better idea.
By then,
maybe you would agree that quiet 
does not cut the wings of conversation,
that distances do not create voids.
Maybe i would start laughing abruptly,
followed by your confused gaze,
i will tell you a memory recollected 
and this time we would crack together,
out loud !
Ask about each other's children,
talk about us looking different..
And possibly get lost in some thought,
probably the thought of 'us'...
or of the lost years or maybe the silence 
would just mean a delicate understanding.
And then we may part, hoping for some other day...
The eyes wont well up, the tears wont splash.
Perhaps they will just absorb.
The moment!.
Its splendor! 

Wednesday 26 September 2012

ethereal meeting

Pointless strolls.
Soundless sobs.
A reasonable anguish.
Ethereal meeting.

Gushing airs.

Snuggled silences
me and you
fragrances mingle.
Unanswered questions.
Not intruding anymore.
Meaningless whispers.
Ethereal meeting.

A delicate touch.

Eyes translucent.
Vain restrain.
Ethereal meeting. 

years bygone


Wrinkles on face have begun
speaking of lessons learnt ...
And eyes of lessons absorbed...
A ballad with time all these years...
Trying to customize things ...
Folding and unfolding of actions
forcing to encounter an unknown
uncertainity... sometimes...
Strange...
A selfish being has begun to search
for traces of sincerity...
And sincere, of notoriety...
Of laughter and silence...
Of sorrow and happiness,
One is prisoner!
Addicted to change the picture of life...
perfect or imperfect
time after time...
Yes,
Wrinkles on face have begun
speaking of lessons learnt ...
And eyes of lessons absorbed...

Friday 10 August 2012

secrets

Few things are best kept unsaid...
A secret from your own self...
Tongue held,eyes closed...
become companion...
This deceit with your own 
feelings giving a full stop, 
to an otherwise unending debate
between right and wrong...
Its good to remain a fool..ignorant...
To be aloof from the catacombs of 
an over burdened night...
For it lures to think...
In the backdrop of a misty evening, 
Its better to be just lying down...
And wonder about the eternal
sane conspiration of the cosmos above
and caress your insane mind...

Thursday 9 August 2012

a dream

So beautiful to be fondled in your dream's arms..
I blink slowly...
Immersing as much as I could in the vastness of their wings..
For I know of no boundaries there..I can fly..gladly...
Trying to reach the safest haven on my ground..
Trying to touch my reveries...
Oh Lord...Thank you..You endowed me with dreams!
Where I soar..and vaporise..where i sob my noiseless sobs
And smile my silent smile...
Where I try to see you..and get closer...
Where I don't blabber..don't search for words...
Where my eyes read out my poetry for you
and my frail words do not wander in search of expression...

i missed you today


The rain brought with it,
your memories today..
And I yearned for your presence...
I would have hid behind you,
to hide me from the tapping hailstones...

Your memories brought back
the smile you loved..
The clouds seemed happy
and there was no 
tormented wind blowing
after the downpour...
Just the breeze telling me,
that she was happy
to see me smile...

I laid there on the grass...
Just staring at the sky 
crowded by the clouds..
It was twilight and I drenched...
The rain had tickled the earth 
as it always does...
And it smelled so beautiful..
As if the earth gave out its little giggle...

Do you remember??
I was overwhelmed when you,
kissed me for the first time..
I kissed back with tears,
streaming down my cheeks..

 You had given a little laugh then...
Ah!! your sighs...your voice...
They resurfaced and lingered  
in my happy tears...
rolling down with the rain...

I missed you today...
I love you..
I am waiting..
Wake up soon..come back soon...

complete

The cusp on my forehead disappeared 
when you entered yesterday...
It was difficult to keep holding the tears of bliss..
They so wanted to surrender...fall off...
Standing in the sanctum of the moment...
I was drowned in the bliss of it...
Alas! I saw the rainbow looking at me 
for the first time...
Holding..rejoicing..
The satisfaction for the present..
Belief in the future.. 
With you on my side,I gazed at it then...
Amazed.. awestruck !!
So ignorant I was in my gloom..
That I realized it then that
It was always there..
A symbol of promising beauty ahead !
I kept my vision translucent for so long...
But its clear now...
No more entangled in the weary strands 
of crave for fulfillment..I..
Feel complete and hopeful in myself now...